Main rape categories:
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Darkness. Darkness in its purest form. Darkness blacker than
black.
Pain. Throbbing, pounding pain. Searing pain.
Fear. Fear of …. what?
Fear of the darkness. Fear of the pain. Fear of the unknown.
She feared all of these things, without really understanding
why. Feared them at some primal, elemental level. She felt
the fear crawling through her, invading every fiber of her
being. She trembled with fear. Her stomach knotted with
fear. She whimpered.
Confusion. And now the confusion joined the fear. She didn’t
understand. Didn’t comprehend. Where was she? Where …..
She was on her back. Hardness. Underneath her was hardness.
And cold. And rough. Unyielding. Concrete? Yes, that was it.
Concrete. But how …
Think. Think more. Try to understand. What else?
Her arms over her head, her legs spread wide. She tried to
move, tried to close her legs, tried to lower her arms, but
she couldn’t. Why couldn’t she move? What was holding her?
She thought, tried to focus, to concentrate. Her head was
spinning.
Something … something was around her wrists and her ankles.
She could feel it. Feel it holding her. What was it? Think.
Think about the feeling. What was it? Rope. It was rope at
her wrists and ankles, holding her down, unmoving. She
pulled against the ropes. Nothing happened.
The pain. The pain in her head kept her from focusing.
Throbbing. Pounding. Why wouldn’t the pain stop? She tried
to think past the pain. Tried to understand where she was,
what was happening.
She was cold. Yes, cold. Why was she so cold? Why was she so
… because she was naked, she realized. She was cold because
she was completely naked. Where had her clothes gone? She
didn’t remember undressing. And why would she undress …
here? Where was here? Where was she?
Something else. Something over her eyes. And something in
her mouth. What? What was it? The word ‘blindfold’ slipped
into her mind. Yes a blindfold. And … and a gag. That was
it. Of course. Why hadn’t she realized it sooner?
But how … and why? The pain interfered with her thoughts.
Interfered with her analysis of her situation. She groaned.
Groaned in response to the pain in her head. The brutal,
throbbing pain.
Where was she? How had she gotten here? And why was she
naked on the floor?
Slowly, very slowly, her mind began to clear. Bits and
pieces started to come into focus. Tiny slivers of
information, half remembered. Were the images real, or just
imaginings? She seemed to remember …
Walking. She had been walking. But where? Where? Home! Yes,
that was it. She had been walking home from … from … the bus
stop! Yes! That was it! She had left work and took the bus
home. She got off the bus and … walked. Yes. She had three
blocks to walk from the bus stop to her apartment building.
But how … how did she come to be … here?
Her head started spinning. The dizziness swept over her in a
wave. She felt nauseous, sick to her stomach. She breathed
deeply through her nose to try and clear her head.
Gradually, ever so gradually, the dizziness retreated, and
the sick feeling left her. She shivered from the cold.
Think. Think. Walking. She had been walking from the bus
stop …
The alley. The alley between her apartment building and the
building next door. She remembered walking past the alley,
reaching into her purse for her keys, and then … and then
pain. And darkness.
Darkness. Pain. Fear.
Pain. Yes, pain! She had been hit! Hit over the head with …
with something! She had been … been … oh dear God!
Her mind cleared and she realized how desperate her
situation was. She was blindfolded and gagged, tied down
naked and spread-eagled on a cold concrete floor. She was
being held … where? … by who? She didn’t know where or who,
but she suddenly knew why, and her heart raced.
It slammed full force into her consciousness. Tied down.
Naked. Spread-eagled. Her body trembled uncontrollably with
fear as she understood that there could be only one reason.
Only one reason to kidnap a woman, strip her naked, and tie
her down. Tears welled up in her eyes as the terror filled
her mind and soul.
She struggled against her bonds, pulling and jerking in an
attempt to break free. The ropes held firm, keeping her
helpless on the floor. She whimpered as fear and frustration
washed over her.
What would he do with her? What would he do to her? How long
would he keep her here? Would he kill her when he was done
using her? Would he … he? How did she know it was “he”? How
could she be sure it wasn’t “they”? Her trembling increased
as this new horror wormed it’s way into her brain. Could
there be more than one? Could there be a group of them?
Silently she prayed. Prayed for rescue from this torment.
Someone would come. Someone would find her. They had to!
They just had to! She whimpered softly as the sick feeling
of terror crept through her. She tugged futilely at her
bonds.
She stiffened and sucked in her breath. Had she heard
something? A scuffing on the floor? She held her breath and
listened, straining her ears. She had thought … thought she
had heard … but there was nothing. No sound. No noise. Her
trembling increased as her fear grew. Was somebody there?
Was somebody coming for her?
Straining to hear the slightest sound, holding her breath
until she felt the blood pounding in her ears. Listening.
Listening. Nothing. There was nothing to hear. Slowly, the
tension left her body. She resumed breathing. She felt her
tears dampening her blindfold as she whimpered into her gag.
Her body jerked as if she had been hit with an electric
shock. Something … someBODY had touched her! Touched the
inside of her thigh! She felt her heart pounding in her
chest, beating faster, harder. Her breathing was ragged.
Terror filled her senses. What was he doing? Where was he?
She screamed into the gag as she felt a hand lay itself on
her naked thigh. He was right beside her! She tried pulling
away as the hand slowly caressed her leg, moving down to her
calf, then back up to her thigh. She shook her head “no” and
whimpered in frustration and shame as the hand moved up,
traveling slowly over the mound of her vagina. Her stomach
turned as she felt the finger working it’s way between the
lips of her vagina, rubbing, rubbing ever so slowly. Her
skin crawled at his touch.
Now his other hand was on her as well. Caressing her
stomach. Moving slowly, gradually, higher. The hand now
covering her right breast, kneading and squeezing as a
finger on his other hand slowly penetrated her. She arched
her back and squeezed her eyes shut as the invading finger
was slowly shoved up inside of her.
She tried to twist away from him, but her restraints held
her firm. She moaned in disgust as he leaned over, placing
his mouth on her left breast, sucking and chewing on her
nipple, while his hands still worked on her. His finger was
slowly pumping her, and she flushed red as she realized she
was becoming damp.
He moved to her right breast, sucking her nipple into his
mouth as he slipped a second finger into her. She jerked her
body in a futile attempt to escape, her head rolling from
side to side as tears soaked her blindfold. This couldn’t be
happening to her! It just couldn’t!
She felt him shift position, moving away from her side.
Before she had been cold, so very cold. But now, as she felt
her unseen, unknown attacker kneel between her legs, beads
of perspiration, born of pure terror, formed on her
forehead. She heard the sound of a zipper, felt him moving
closer. And then she felt his weight pressing down on her
trembling body, pressing her to the cold concrete.
Revulsion flooded through her as she felt him pressing his
thick, hard penis against her vagina. She screamed into the
gag and jerked against her bonds as he spread her open and
forced his way into her. Deeper and deeper he drove into her
until he was finally buried completely inside of her.
His hands continued roaming over her body as he slowly raped
her. He snaked them underneath her and took hold of her
buttocks, pulling her up to meet him each time he thrust
into her. She quit trying to fight. She knew it was useless.
She collapsed on the floor and lay limp as he used her.
Over and over he drove into her. He was thrusting with
increasing speed and force. She whimpered in pain each time
he impaled her. The rape had now turned brutal. His hands
had moved under her shoulder blades and were now grasping
her shoulders. He jerked her body down each time he drove
viciously into her. The pain was nearly unbearable and she
cried out in response.
Faster and harder he drove into her, grunting like an animal
as the violence of the attack increased. Her brow was
furrowed against the pain and she screamed with each thrust
of his hips. He was pounding, pounding, pounding … and then
she heard him groan in her ear. She felt her stomach
constrict and the bile rise in her throat as he shot a long
stream of thick, hot fluids into her body. He continued
stroking, spraying her insides with more and more of his
disgusting filth, until finally, drained and satiated, he
collapsed on top of her.
Sobs wracked her as he lay on top of her, panting in her
ear. She felt him slowly softening inside of her while she
wept out her anguish. Then, with a grunt, he lifted himself
off of her, pulling out of her as he did. She felt his
fluids leaking out of her, running slowly between her
buttocks. The shame, humiliation and revulsion she felt were
overpowering.
She heard him walking away as she lay on the floor, helpless
and weeping. Her stomach constricted again. She had to fight
down the urge to be sick. The gag in her mouth would cause
her to strangle on her own vomit if she became ill. The sick
feeling stayed with her, even as she tried to will it away.
Sound. There was a sound. Footsteps, coming towards her. Was
he coming back? He couldn’t do it again. Not this soon. He
couldn’t have recovered already. Was he going to kill her?
But why? Why kill her? She couldn’t identify him. She had
never seen him.
Closer he came. Closer and closer. Her heart was racing. She
saw her own death, brutal, violent and painful. She quivered
as panic swept through her.
And then he was on top of her, pushing his penis easily up
into her well used and lubricated vagina. It was now that
she realized that this was a different man. He wasn’t as
heavy, and his organ was longer. Shame flooded her with the
realization that she was being raped by two different men.
Two? Maybe three? Or more? She had no idea how many there
might be. She moaned in self pity and self loathing as the
animal on top of her used her body like a piece of meat.
That’s all she was to them. A piece of meat with a warm,
moist hole to deposit their disgusting fluids in.
She wept quietly as the rapist kept thrusting, grunting and
sweating as he drove repeatedly into her. She was becoming
sore down there, and cried out in pain. The animal didn’t
care. He didn’t care how much pain she was in.
His mouth was on her breast, sucking and chewing. Pain
lanced through her as he viciously bit her nipple. Her back
arched and she screamed into her gag. She had never felt so
much pain.
Still he ravaged her. Brutally. Viciously. Pounding into her
with long, hard strokes. She felt him inside of her, felt
him withdrawing and thrusting, driving deep into her. Her
stomach twisted, her heart pounded. Terror. Revulsion.
Humiliation. Shame. Fear. Always fear.
She heard him moan, felt him throbbing inside of her. Once
more she was revolted as she felt the heat of his fluids
filling her. Felt the warmth spreading through her as he
pumped more of his liquids into her. With a shudder, he
drained the last of his load, sighed in pleasure, and
collapsed on top of her.
He lay on her for nearly three minutes, breathing heavily
while his erection gradually dwindled. To her, it seemed
like an eternity. Finally, he pulled out of her, stood up,
and walked away.
Alone. Alone in the darkness. She trembled in fear of the
unknown. How long would this continue? How long, and how
many, would use her? How long would the anguish, the pain,
the terror continue? And when they were done with her, what
then? Would they kill her? Would they kill her and dispose
of her body in some filthy, out of the way ditch, never to
be found? Would they kill her quickly, or would they slowly
torture her to death?
She felt dirty, filthy. She felt as if a layer of scum was
coating her body. As if she were covered with lice.
Crawling, creeping. Moving over her body. Again she fought
down the urge to vomit.
She tensed. Footsteps. Footsteps approaching her. Not again.
Oh God, please not again. She couldn’t stand anymore.
Couldn’t stand being raped again. Her trembling worsened.
Fear. Terror. Revulsion.
He was kneeling between her legs. His hands played over her,
kneading her breasts. Then moving, moving down her sides,
slowly moving over her stomach, down her thighs to her
calves. Squeezing. Rubbing. Slowly moving up her legs. Over
her stomach. Back to her breasts.
He leaned forward. She felt his tongue licking at her
stomach. Her skin fluttered at the crawling, sickening
sensation his touch evoked in her. He moved higher, nibbling
and licking as he went. Higher. Higher. His mouth was on her
breast, sucking and chewing. She moaned as he lowered his
weight onto her. He was a big man, fat and smelly. His
weight crushed her to the floor. It was difficult to
breathe.
His hand moved between them. Grasping his organ, he guided
it to her opening. She cried out as he forced his way into
her, moving deeper with each thrust of his hips. He was
huge, bigger than either of the first two. Longer, thicker.
She felt as if she were being torn open. He was driving
against her cervix now, causing her to scream in pain with
each thrust.
Her head was swimming in the pain. The searing, tearing,
incredible pain. Her head was snapping from side to side as
she tried to twist her body away from this brutal creature.
Repeatedly he crammed himself viciously into her, ripping a
scream from her throat with each assault. No more! Oh dear
God, no more!
His hands were moving. Over her breasts. Up her chest. Onto
her shoulders. Finally, around her throat. Panic replaced
pain in the forefront of her mind as she felt his fingers
tightening, squeezing. He was going to kill her! Oh God he
was going to strangle her while he raped her!
She screamed into the gag as his hands tightened around her
throat. Screamed in sheer terror as the pressure of his
fingers increased. Screamed until he squeezed her throat
closed and she could scream no more.
Her lungs tried in vain to draw air into her body. She
fought ineffectually against the rapist who was strangling
the life out of her. She struggled against the ropes,
pulling and jerking. Her body was bouncing and twisting. Her
head twisted and turned. She felt her lungs starting to burn
for lack of oxygen. The blood was pounding in her ears. She
could feel a throbbing in her head as her brain was deprived
of blood.
He was pounding into her with a vengeance. The bouncing,
twisting and trembling of her struggling body exciting him
beyond the brink. He squeezed yet tighter with his hands,
increasing her pain and her terror.
She felt herself swooning, and fought to retain
consciousness. If she passed out, she would die. She didn’t
want to die! Oh God, she didn’t want to die! Her lungs
screamed out for oxygen. The pounding in her head was
unbearable. Her struggles against the ropes intensified. She
felt the darkness moving towards her. Closing in. Her body
stiffened and her trembling increased as she felt herself
slipping away. Trembling. Quivering.
From a far distance, from what seemed like miles, she heard
a groan. A deep, guttural groan. Some part of her drifting,
tortured mind registered a throbbing inside of her, and then
heat. Heat spreading through her body. Heat filling her
insides.
And then, the pressure on her throat relented, slackened.
Coughing and choking, she greedily drew air into her
tortured lungs. She wanted to take deep breaths, to suck the
air in, but with the gag in place, she could only breathe
through her nostrils. Gradually, the burning in her lungs
and the pounding in her head subsided, leaving only the
terror. She had nearly died. She had been so close …
The sadistic animal lifted his weight and withdrew his penis
from her battered body. Still she trembled with the memory
of the pain and terror. If he hadn’t climaxed right then,
would he have released her throat, or would he have
continued strangling her? She shivered in revulsion and
disgust at the thought of him pumping his fluids into her
dead body, continuing to use her even after she was
lifeless. What kind of people were they? What kind of sick
people now had her under their complete control?
She lay on the cold, hard floor, trembling and crying, the
memories of her abuse filling her mind. How long had she
been here? More important, how much longer would they keep
her? How many of them were there? How often would they use
her? And what would they do with her when they were done?
Through the night, the terror continued. Her abusers were
sadistic, inflicting pain on her in various means as they
took her. Several times she was convinced that she would die
in just seconds. The cold, numbing fear was her constant
companion. Her body trembled at every sound, every
imagining. She lived in a constant state of terror.
How many times had she been raped so far? She couldn’t
remember. She didn’t even know how many different men had
used her. She thought some of them had raped her more than
once, but she couldn’t even be sure of that. She only knew
that as soon as one would finish with her, another would
take his place. Her back and buttocks were rubbed raw from
the constant contact with the rough concrete floor. Her body
ached from the repeated abuse. Her mind, constantly
terrified by both the known and the unknown, exhausted by
the constant abuse, began to retreat into unconsciousness as
yet another unseen attacker mounted her. She felt him enter
her as the veil was drawn.
Darkness. Darkness in it’s purest form. Darkness blacker
than black.
Pain. Throbbing, pounding pain. Searing pain.
Fear. Fear of …. what?
Fear of the darkness. Fear of the pain. Fear of the unknown.
She feared all of these things, without really understanding
why. Feared them at some primal, elemental level. She felt
the fear crawling through her, invading every fiber of her
being. She trembled with fear. Her stomach knotted with
fear. She whimpered.
Confusion. And now the confusion joined the fear. She didn’t
understand. Didn’t comprehend. Where was she? Where …..
She was on her side. Softness. Underneath her was softness.
And warmth. And thickness. Yielding. Grass? Yes, that was
it. Grass. But how …
Think. Think more. Try to understand. What else?
Her arms behind her back, her legs close together. She tried
to move, tried to open her legs, tried to bring her arms
forward, but she couldn’t. Why couldn’t she move? What was
holding her? She thought, tried to focus, to concentrate.
Her head was spinning.
Something was around her wrists and her ankles. She could
feel it. Feel it holding her. What was it? Rope. Her wrists
were tied together, as were her ankles. And she was gagged
and blindfolded. And then she remembered.
Raped. The word flashed into her mind. She shuddered. Oh
God, she had been raped. Repeatedly raped and brutalized by
numerous men. She remembered the pain, the terror. She began
trembling uncontrollably. Where were they? Were they coming
back? Would they hurt her even more? Would they kill her?
She stiffened. Had she heard something? She held her breath
and strained her ears, listening. Footsteps. She heard
footsteps! Oh God, they were coming back! They were coming
back to hurt her even more! Her body was wracked with
sobbing as the horror of it sunk in.
She jumped as she felt hand touch her. They were touching
her face, pulling at the blindfold, removing it. She was
blinded by the brightness of the light. She felt the hands
working on the gag, and then it was gone.
“Please don’t hurt me!” she whimpered. “Please don’t hurt me
anymore!”
“No one is going to hurt you. You’re safe. Do you understand
me? You’re safe.”
Her eyes were adjusting to the light. She could make out the
grass and the trees. Looking up, she recognized the green
and brown of the park ranger’s uniform. She began weeping.
********************
There are some things that are frightening, that are
terrifying. Things of which the merest thought can send a
shiver up the spine of the person who contemplates them.
These things inspire a high level of fear in the person who
experiences them. But when an element of the unknown is
added, an element beyond the comprehension or understanding
of the victim, the level of fear increases. Rape is one of
those things. |
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